Congress Legalizes Nudity!

public-nudity-vermont    In a surprise move Congress approved new legislation making nudity legal nationally, virtually anywhere.  This was a small item slipped into a bill being passed dealing with foreign arms shipments.  As often happens, legislators rarely actually read the bills they pass and little oddities like this often slip by unnoticed.  That’s how the slaves were freed.  Boy, was that a surprise!

Anti-nudity protesters are already marching in Washington and State capitals wearing extra layers of clothing, often in smothering heat, to demonstrate how they believe others should live their lives.

CNN reports that many nude people have already not been arrested in various parts of the country for exercising there newfound right to be comfortable.  Nudists nationwide are in ecstasy over this.

Our personal opinion about this is dismay.  What fun is it if we’re not an oppressed minority?  We can’t gripe and complain anymore.  We’re, ugh, mainstream.   There goes this website.

So folks, maybe we’ll see you, see you at the mall.  Of course, naked, everybody looksshopping the same.  Problem is, without  clothes on how the hell are we’re going to project the image we wish people will believe represents the ‘true’ us?  How are people supposed to know that I’m a doctor or lawyer, instead of just a common laborer?  What happens to social status?  God help us.  Chaos and destruction await us.

Angie and I have decided to wear clothes now, all the time.  Pajamas in bed, in protest.  We urge you to do the same.  They can’t take away our right to be outlaws!

P.S.   We sincerely hope that you realize this is a joke.  Had nothing else to write about and this popped into my head.  I had fun, hope you did too!      -Steve .      

7 Responses

  1. Thanks for the wake-up article! Your site is one of the first I read after my mail, and it was VERY GOOD reading!

  2. Nice April Fools piece but the wrong time of year. Maybe a candidate for the Onion News or similar?

  3. John, Wisconsin is in a different time zone, it’s early April here. It must be, it’s still not warm!

  4. I enjoy your sense of humor.

  5. I sincerely hope this is true, that Congress has legalized nudity. Yet, somehow, it sounds too good to be true. If it is true, next nice day, I’m going outside starkers. If the cops come, I’ll tell them that Congress has legalized nudity. After that, I don’t know.

  6. what? It’s *not* true? I’m glad I read the comments before I stepped out of my apartment door as I am dressed now, in my God given garment.

    @_@

    Me: “What’cha in for”
    Inmate: “Murder while committing a bank robbery. And you?”
    Me: “Public nudity”
    Inmate: “GUARD! I want a different cell!”

    Admin: LOL !

  7. Ruined my night to hear this didn’t happen. Glad to live where I don’t have to worry about covering up. Very depressing.

    Adnin: Cheer up, Roger. We can always be naked under our clothes!

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