Congress Legalizes Nudity!

public-nudity-vermont    In a surprise move Congress approved new legislation making nudity legal nationally, virtually anywhere.  This was a small item slipped into a bill being passed dealing with foreign arms shipments.  As often happens, legislators rarely actually read the bills they pass and little oddities like this often slip by unnoticed.  That’s how the slaves were freed.  Boy, was that a surprise!

Anti-nudity protesters are already marching in Washington and State capitals wearing extra layers of clothing, often in smothering heat, to demonstrate how they believe others should live their lives.

CNN reports that many nude people have already not been arrested in various parts of the country for exercising their newfound right to be comfortable.  Nudists nationwide are in ecstasy over this.

Our personal opinion about this is dismay.  What fun is it if we’re not an oppressed minority?  We can’t gripe and complain anymore.  We’re, ugh, mainstream.   There goes this website.

So folks, maybe we’ll see you, see you at the mall.  Of course, naked, everybody looksshopping the same.  Problem is, without  clothes on how the hell are we’re going to project the image we wish people will believe represents the ‘true’ us?  How are people supposed to know that I’m a doctor or lawyer, instead of just a common laborer?  What happens to social status?  God help us.  Chaos and destruction await us.

Angie and I have decided to wear clothes now, all the time.  Pajamas in bed, in protest.  We urge you to do the same.  They can’t take away our right to be outlaws!

P.S.   We sincerely hope that you realize this is a joke.  Had nothing else to write about and this popped into my head.  I had fun, hope you did too!      -Steve

25 Responses

  1. Thanks for the wake-up article! Your site is one of the first I read after my mail, and it was VERY GOOD reading!

    Like

  2. Nice April Fools piece but the wrong time of year. Maybe a candidate for the Onion News or similar?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. John, Wisconsin is in a different time zone, it’s early April here. It must be, it’s still not warm!

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  4. I enjoy your sense of humor.

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  5. I sincerely hope this is true, that Congress has legalized nudity. Yet, somehow, it sounds too good to be true. If it is true, next nice day, I’m going outside starkers. If the cops come, I’ll tell them that Congress has legalized nudity. After that, I don’t know.

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  6. what? It’s *not* true? I’m glad I read the comments before I stepped out of my apartment door as I am dressed now, in my God given garment.

    @_@

    Me: “What’cha in for”
    Inmate: “Murder while committing a bank robbery. And you?”
    Me: “Public nudity”
    Inmate: “GUARD! I want a different cell!”

    Admin: LOL !

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  7. Ruined my night to hear this didn’t happen. Glad to live where I don’t have to worry about covering up. Very depressing.

    Adnin: Cheer up, Roger. We can always be naked under our clothes!

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  8. Now for the states to follow suit esp CA & our Park System alone.

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  9. Oh… so this is.B.S?…. well back to Halover Beach. not cool…

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  10. Not nice! It is NOT April Fools today! You had me going and I was about to leave to go shop at the mall nude or go for a nude hike! Or better yet, a nude swim at one of the many public beaches nearby without having to wait for the wee hours of the night. I was really hoping your article was true! But, it didn’t right anyway! The only way I really want it to happen is that the Constitution is actually changed to give any American to right, yes the the right, to be nude in any public place in America. A Constitutional right whereby anyone whom attempts to prevent us from being nude in public is actually breaking the law. So, as much as I hoped the “Congress bill passed” was true, I want it to go to the point of being Constitutional.

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  11. Constitution right? How about something like, “pursuit of happiness”? That should cover it! Or maybe something about freedom of religion? Religion is just superstition and belief, so maybe I believe my god insists on nudity! Freedom of the Press? I’m a ‘journalist’ and must know nudism to write about it effectively! Right to ‘liberty’ – surely I can’t be arrested for removing 3 square inches of g-string!

    See Christopher? We already have the Constitutional right to be bare! So quit complaining! 😉

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  12. An entry worthy of The Onion. *lol*

    Liked by 1 person

  13. […] Congress Legalizes Nudity! […]

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  14. Haha great one. If only this could really happen

    Liked by 2 people

  15. […] In a surprise move Congress approved new legislation making nudity legal nationally, virtually anywhere. This was a small item slipped into a bill being passed dealing with foreign arms shipme…  […]

    Liked by 1 person

  16. please. Where can I read this legislation? Does this mean I can pee in the woods again?!

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  17. Oh geez, this is years old and obviously is a joke, as clearly stated in the article. C’mon, READ what you’re seeing!

    Like

  18. As much as I detest Liberal Democrats, it is they who will likely legalize nudity. Crap!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Well, I guess that’s why one party is referred to as ‘progressive’ and the other as ‘conservative’. In a perfect world they’d balance each other nicely. In a perfect world, right! 😉

    Like

  20. Reblogged this on All Nudist.

    Like

  21. Dang it!! I was ready to go outside nude. You certainly had me convinced. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. LOL! When we first posted this jest years ago, some folks missed the disclaimer at the end and were really pissed off! If only it were true!

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  23. Thanks! We had fun writing it a few years ago and still enjoy dragging it out now and then! A few folks took it seriously and were pissed when it turned out to be a joke!

    Like

  24. Reblogged this on Naturalian's Blog and commented:
    Oh why not?!

    Liked by 1 person

Courteous behavior is expected; please stay on-topic. Thanks!

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