Single Male Nudists – Still a Problem

All-Nudist has MOVED to ALL-NUDIST.com!

“I’m getting tired of being singled out because I am a single male.”

How many times have you heard that?  How many times have you said that?  It’s so unfair that single men are discriminated against because of their gender, isn’t it?

Well, yes it is and…no it isn’t,  for  a number of reasons.  For one thing, it’s not just a gender issue, it’s a combination of gender and the lack of a ‘keeper’.  It’s a matter of behavior.   Gosh, where have we heard that before as it applies  to men?

People go to private nudist venues to relax and have a good time, free from the worries that can hamper their enjoyment of public facilities.  One of the things they want to get away from is the stereotype guy who ogles the ladies and thinks he’s God’s gift to women, and proves it by making himself available for stud service to any woman he sees.  He knows, of course, that she’s just aching for his attentions; why else would she be flaunting herself like that, naked by the pool?

Is that you?  Of course not.   You’re a good guy, a genuine nudist who happens to be single and may not even be interested in hooking up right now.  A day in the sun is all you ask, is that so terrible?  Nope, not at all.  But you’re not welcome at a lot of nudist venues because of Joe Cool over there who has created a long history of bothering women, getting drunk and obnoxious, and generally making everyone else wish they’d stayed home.

That ‘everyone else’ is the group of folks who put their hard-earned money and effort into building the club as a place where they could be comfortable and safe.  Or they’re the ones paying good money to enjoy those same benefits.  They are not  there to have to deal with idiots; there’s plenty of them outside the gates.

And then there’s the single woman, that elusive creature so rare at nudist venues and so carefully cultivated once lured inside.  Believe it or not, just because a woman is alone does not mean that she is waiting for a man to fill the void.  Men are easy to find; she doesn’t need to get naked to find one of them!  Surprisingly, women too like to just relax sometimes without dealing with potential suitors, and an excess of loose men hanging around makes that difficult.

Nudist clubs, camps, and resorts all have in common that they cost a lot of money to operate, have a limited clientele, often have a limited season,  and survive by delivering what they promise – which is a safe, hassle-free environment for nudists to relax and socialize in without a single concern to mar their visit.  The venue’s very existence depends on being able to provide this every single time for every single visitor lest they lose their customers.

Single women aren’t comfortable when outnumbered excessively by men at nudist venues, and won’t attend if they feel like they’re the object of too much attention.  Even if the men are well-behaved, the comfort factor is degraded.  There’s no denying this well-recorded phenomenon.

These clubs and resorts weren’t built by or for single men, they were built by people committed to a lifestyle free from the harsh realities of Textile society, including the predatory behavior exhibited by many single men in the presence of a woman, whether she’s single or not.  They are there by mutual agreement that such behavior, even if casual, is not to be tolerated for the comfort of all.

History, a lot of history, has shown that single men simply cannot be trusted to play by the rules.   Women seem to be able to.  Couples seem to be able to.  Single men…often do not.

So it’s a matter of the comfort of those who regularly use the facilities and the very real financial risk involved in possibly losing that solid customer base should even a few  guys misbehave and disturb  someone.  It’s just not worth taking a chance.

As a single good-guy nudist, what can you do about this?  Nothing.  As a single good-guy nudist with a female (sometimes male) friend to bring along?  You can enter the facility and enjoy the comfort and safety of knowing that you won’t be bothered by Joe Cool.  That’s a fact of life, and nobody said life is fair.

(Some) Gay Men vs. Naturism

“Residents Draw Line in the Sand on Nudity”   - Aukland Now

• “”Over the years…the deviants that have taken over, portraying themselves as naturists”
• “It’s a problem repeated at beaches around the country”
• “more and more complaints. It is also a well-known gay meeting place.”
• “It’s people like [them] who are giving us a bad name.”
• “The lewd behaviour is the concern. It is not against the law to go naked on a beach”
• “the problem has been allowed to fester for years “
• “You’ve got your genuine naturists, for us it’s a philosophy”

Well? Getting tired of reading about this, story after story, day after day?  Then DO something! Tell them to stop! Report them to the police, take a pic and send to police, take down license numbers, discuss it in your club, contact national organizations, write letters to the editor, call representatives, TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO STOP DOING IT!

This is not a ‘gay vs straight’ issue; this is perverted, illegal behavior which shouldn’t be countenanced by anyone, gay or straight.

There is already a backlash against gay men quietly forming in the nudist community.  More and more people, All Nudist included, are becoming tired of being apologists for gays in general, saying it’s only a few bad apples and not all  gay men who cause the problems.  Most gays are just as upset as the rest of us, right?

The gay naturist community has remained largely silent about it and, in some cases, tacitly approved of these perverted and illegal practices.  No support there.  Where are the gay naturism advocates?

It’s taken many years and a lot of effort to reach the present level of acceptance that gay people enjoy now; let’s not lose those gains just because some gay men are sexually deviant and the rest of them are afraid to speak out.   We think it’s just some; we’re beginning to wonder.

If gay men want to be accepted into the nudist community, as we expect the real gay NUDISTS do, then they damn well better start acting like the rest of that community or all gay men are going to find themselves left out.

As we’ve said over and over, it’s not a GAY problem, it’s a BEHAVIOR problem.   But… the behavior problem is mostly a GAY MALE problem and that aspect of it cannot be ignored, as is usually done in some misguided effort to be politically correct and avoid appearing to be ‘homophobic’.

That fear is what stops this discussion from going anywhere.  Whenever the subject comes up it’s either “You’re homophobic!” or “Those damn gays are all alike!”  Both are wrong, we hope.

Our national organizations are reluctant to touch the issue for both the above reason plus the fact they owe their existence to the promotion of nudism/naturism as a squeaky-clean, problem-free, happy-happy family image.  Baloney.  We have our problems just like everyone else and pretending they don’t exist is not going to fix anything.  A fake image is no image.

What’s the solution?  We don’t know.  We do know that this type of behavior is much more of a threat to social nudism than public opinion or religious zealots.  This is more of a danger than falling association memberships or an ageing nudist population.  More of a problem than recruiting younger nudists or getting more nude beaches.

This threat, a worldwide threat, is the one that can close beaches to us, turn public opinion against us, cause legislation against us, and make the terms ‘nudist’ and ‘naturist’ come to mean something foul and disgusting.

Now go ahead; disagree and try to argue against that point.  But you ask, what about swingers and others that cause problems?  Don’t even go there; the behavior is just as wrong, of course, but the problem is minuscule compared to the gay male perversion invasion.  First things first.

Why are we bringing this up?  Why are we making such a big deal of it?  And who are we to be saying these things?  Just a couple of pretty ordinary nudists who have supported the position of gays for as long as we’ve been writing.  We live in a largely gay/lesbian neighborhood, have a gay ‘adopted’ son, a gay cousin, a gay nephew and his husband, a bi niece, a gay brother and his wonderful husband, numerous gay co-workers, have set up a website for a lesban-owned business, list gay organizations on our website, and live in a gay-friendly community.  Oh yeah, and have gay friends of both genders.  Hell, we even drove 30 miles and climbed a small mountain (ok, big hill) once for a gay neighbor’s wedding!

Are we anti-gay?  What do YOU think?

We’re doing this because anybody who accuses us of being homophobic is so obviously obtuse that we can ignore them.  They’re attatcking the messenger because they don’t want to deal with the message.   Our gay friends will not run away from us screaming because they agree!   We hold no public office or association position which could be adversely affected by being honest, we have no dog in this fight other than wanting to protect our nudist/naturist lifestyle.

What we hope to do is stimulate honest, civil, reasoned discussion about this problem throughout the nudist/naturist community., something which is happening only among a few bloggers right now.  We need everyone to be talking about it and putting their combined abilities and insights together to find some way to alleviate the problem.  There’s a lot of brain power available within our community and only by tapping that resource can we hope to win this battle; we can’t wait for our national associations to finally realize and admit that the problem exists.  By then it will be too late, if it isn’t already.

We’ve found in the past that if All Nudist posts something that’s controversial or ruffles feathers it will travel a lot farther than this little blog can reach all alone.  We’re hoping that this essay pisses off a lot of gays and straights, enough so that they share it with others and talk about it.    The stupid ones will complain about that ‘anti-gay’ All Nudist website and send their friends here for a laugh.

Great!  And out of all the folks who come here mad and read this, at least some will get the idea, agree, and maybe, just maybe, do something about it.

That’s a start.

• Locals sick of “homosexual activity” at beach
• Nudists Upset Beach Residents
• Nudist Activity to be Monitored
• Nudists Cause Controversy on Welsh Beach
• Wisconsin Nude Beach Has Sex Problem
• Wisconsin Cracks Down on Sex, Drugs at Nude Beach

Nudists, nudists, nudists…   If you were Mom and Pop Textile, wouldn’t you have some concerns about having a nudist beach near you?  We sure would!

There are, of course, “good guys’ out there, and D.A.M.N. appears to be oneof them according to their stridently stated position:

 ‎”D.A.M.N. is a social organization. Sexual activity and any other type of misconduct will not be allowed at any function. Anyone involved in such conduct will have his membership revoked.”

“D.A.M.N has two rules: No sex and No Clothes are`allowed at our functions.”

Now that sounds like a naturist club!  Compare that to the gay naturist sorganization which advises its participants as to which area of the event is reserved for ‘public sexual displays’.

D.A.M.N. Dallas Area Male Naturists 

Afterword:  If you read the comments below you will find that not everyone agrees that perverts having open sex on public beaches is a problem.  In fact, some like the one below insist that the problem lies instead with the naturists who dare to invade the pervs territory then complain!  We owe ‘Patrick’ a thank-you for demonstrating so aptly that there are indeed some very sick individuals among us, masquerading as nudists in order to act out their twisted sexual fantasies.  The saddest thing is, he really doesn’t think he’s sick; he thinks everyone else is!

Naturism is a Small Umbrella – Or Should Be

“If we pigeonhole what naturism is, you are going to not see much diversity in naturism.”    (from a comment thread)

This comment was part of a much longer one in a discussion about what is or should be acceptable under the banner of ‘naturism’.  The author was asserting that changes in society should be reflected in nudist behavior and philosophy, including a relaxing of previous behavioral standards.  A matter of keeping up with the times, so to speak.

That’s not unreasonable on the surface, but do we really want very much behavioral diversity in naturism?  Naturism is intended to be what it is, not what others would like it to be.   If we don’t  ‘pigeonhole’ naturism, ie, define what naturism is, then what is it?  It cannot be everything to everyone or the term become meaningless.

Words have meaning, and ‘naturism’ has a meaning which can’t change willy-nilly according to someone’s whims and desires.  Changing the definition of naturism to make it something else and calling it ‘diversity’ is misdirection designed to accommodate someone’s desire to do whatever they want but still be called a ‘naturist’.

Instead of changing the commonly accepted nature of naturism, how about we just use the descriptive and accurate term ‘naked‘ to cover everything done in the nude that falls outside of the accepted definition of naturism?  Then purists won’t be upset, ‘naturism’ won’t possibly be associated with non-naturist activities, and people can stop pretending to have some sort of connection with ‘nature’ as an excuse to party naked!   :-)

Nudist Youth Camp Season

A reader recently asked us where to find a nudist youth camp for their youngster so we thought we’d gather some information for those considering that idea.  Here’s what we found through an admittedly brief search.

We personally have had no experience with this subject and would recommend that any camp considered be checked out with AANR or TNS first, just to make sure that everything is up to snuff.

There has been some controversy in the past but we haven’t heard much lately, at least any directly related to youth camps.  Do your homework and good luck!

Old Enough to Make a Lanyard, and to Do It Nude – NYTimes.com

Some Perspective on Naturist Youth Camps – SCNA

Sunsport Gardens Youth Camp – Sunsport Gardens

The War Against Youth Camps – The Bare Times

Naturist Society 2012 Events – TNS

Youth Camp Faces Criticism From Politicians – Arizona Republic

2003 AANR Youth Camp Controversy – Professors and Researchers Special Interest Group –  The Naturist Society

Be prepared to do some explaining to your friends, co-workers, minister, and  anyone else who decides to Google for information about this wholesome family activity.  The articles listed above are the good search results we found; the rest were mostly porn or negative, as is to be expected when searching nudist topics.  Unfortunately, those are the ones that people see the most and use to unfairly categorize us all.   So what else is new?
.

Naturists Eating Their Own

You probably already know about the flap over Desert Sun Resort‘s recent change of status to ‘couples only’ and the lawsuit filed by some disgruntled folks who think that everyone else adores having their obnoxious rugrats underfoot while relaxing on a very expensive vacation.

We aren’t going to get into this by expressing our opinion as to whether the ‘no kids’ policy was actually a move towards a more sexy environment or not except to say that, lacking any evidence in that direction, we have no reason to believe so.  Without evidence, anything else is pure speculation and not worth discussing.

What we can’t figure out is why John and Elizabeth Young, the resort’s owners, would go from a perfectly reasonable business-based defense to the odd ‘anti-porn’ defense they ultimately chose.  Did they think that public sentiment against porn would support them?  “Do it for the children!”

In any event, it’s touched off a minor firestorm in the nudist community by those who feel (probably correctly) that by admitting publicly implying that it’s conceivable that somewhere, sometime, a person posing as a wholesome nudist might…not be a nice person after all, the Youngs shine a poor light on all of us.  Nothing like a hint of sex to whet the public’s appetite!

Here’s a couple of excerpts from replies to criticism expressed by (presumably) those filing suit against the resort.  Consider the reasons given by Ms. Young in the first two then compare with the now-official reasons for for asking folks to leave the kids at home.

Then:  February 4, 2012    “After three years of ownership, we have learned from our guests that they just don’t want to vacation in the nude with children running around…naturism in 2012 is much different than it was in 1970. Most naturist simply wish to vacation without kids around, not because they have a hidden agenda, they simply wish to relax and get away from the kids for a vacation.” – Elizabeth Young, Owner at Desert Sun Resort in response to Beautiful Resort But…

February 22, 2012    “… our guests…were simply uncomfortable vacationing in the nude around children…less than 18 guests brought children in the previous 3 years…the resort is simply not child friendly… we did what was best for the business to survive long term and became an adult only resort. “ – Elizabeth Young, Owner at Desert Sun Resort in response to Trouble in Paradise

Now:  March 28, 2012   “We changed the rule last year after seeing all the news stories … of child porn..  (We) do not want to be responsible…for pictures taken at the resort that could be posted on websites that exploit pictures of nudist children in order to serve pedophiles.”   – My Desert.com

So, what do you think?  Should they have stayed with the bottom-line-profit and customer demand angle or gone with the ‘save the children‘ defense?  It’s too late to change it but we can sit back ad watch all the fuss it is causing.  At this writing we haven’t heard from any national organizations, but imagine that press statements will be forthcoming.  Hope so, anyway.

Here are some articles that will add the details (be sure to read the follow-up comments with each):

Our First Nakation    The Altogether (AANR)

Nudist Resort’s No-kids Rule…

Desert Sun Resort Casts A Long Shadow

Desert Resort Cites ‘Child Porn’…

Sun and Shadows – Kid Admission Policies Change at a Palm Springs Nude Resort

Nudist Dating – $ – Love?

All-Nudist has MOVED to ALL-Nudist.com

You see them all the time; they look very much alike, claim to be the ‘largest in the world’ and will connect you with lots of nudists seeking YOU!

Or maybe mostly a lot of guys looking for …something.

You can ‘join’ for free to see what’s there then, if you’re not too smart, spend a lot of money. Hey, maybe it works for you!  Possibly not.

Well, a lot of them are the same ‘dating’ service under different names. In fact, you can even start one yourself!  We did, to our regret.  Seemed like a good idea at the time.

These aren’t scams since they do let you decide if you want to spend money, but they may not be exactly what you expect them to be. Be cautious.

All Nudist ran one of these sites for a time to see if we could make a buck or two.  It appeared legit. We advised folks to join for free but NOT to spend any money, and as far as we know, no one did. Good.

We made a little money ($2 per FREE membership) but after looking deeper into what was really there we decided to drop it. It wasn’t what we thought it was, plus they held off paying us for months (the check is in the mail – really!). Can’t say that didn’t raise some veracity alarms.

In any event, if you’re thinking of joining one of these sites, consider spending the money and starting your own instead! It’s cheaper and all you have to do is buy a website and turn it over to them!

Of course, the more you promote it, the more people will join. Hence the FB pages that post their sites all over Facebook.  We even saw an ad for one of them on a comment board for an article about a nudist pedophile!  Shameless profiteering.  Do you think they care about nudists, or just money?

SuccessfulMatch.com is one of the largest of the parent companies and their nudist dating sites have a distinctive appearance, with variations.  Free to join, etc.

As far as the other large nudist dating services, they may be wonderful!  We’ve never heard anything actually good about them, but they might be worthwhile.  Just don’t spend any money unless you know what you’re getting.  Almost everything on the internet with ‘nudist’ attached to it is anything but!

‘Nudist’ is a marketing term which targets folks looking for sex-related material.  It’s a terrific eye-catcher and is often used to give non-nudist enterprises the ‘legitimacy’ of nudism.  Don’t be taken in by a name.

But listen, if you’ve got a lot of time on your hands and don’t mind looking around, then by all means do so!  You might get lucky and meet some folks worth meeting.  But watch your pocketbook.

If you seriously want to meet someone special, we’d suggest E-Harmony, our ‘Alma-Mater’ as it were.  You can discuss your nudist preference in your profile and are much more likely, in our opinion, to find a fellow nudist love interest and less likely to find a bunch of lonely guys complaining about the lack of women on their dating site!

SuccessfulMatch.com  (the small print at the bottom of dating sites will often lead you, eventually, to the parent company.  This is a big one with lots of ‘affiliates’.)

Recommended:

• Complains about SuccessfulMatch.com
• PerfectMatch.com  complaints
• You Are Naked on the Internet
• The Risks of Free Online Dating

This particular one has spammed our site over a dozen times:  Naturist Passion

Just had a thought; why don’t you look at those various links then tell us about your online nudist dating experience!  We can learn more from each other than by reading ‘reviews’ about the subject.  Could be interesting.

What is Nude Recreation? – AANR Video