How We Met Part 3: E-Harmony

Have you ever experienced  E-Harmony ?   What a trip! 

It’s hard for folks to meet the opposite sex (or, well, same, for that matter)  in a social setting which isn’t contrived.   Church, work, supermarket, ok.  Other than that it’s the bar scene or some other venue where an initial approach is required, then conversation intended to interest the other, and so on until some sort of understanding is reached.  Then months of dating and getting to know each other.  Even then, since we’re trying so hard to appeal to the other, we may not be quite completely honest.  Intentionally or otherwise.

Ads in magazines, most dating services don’t really address this issue.  “SWM into sports and knitting seeking SWF with similar interests”.  Uh,uh.

Enter E-Harmony.   Here’s a brief tour.  First, you fill out a free questionnaire (expect to take 45 minutes, ‘save’ often)  asking you a LOT of questions about yourself and what you are seeking.   A key point.  You are NOT trying to impress someone you have met, you are actually being YOU.  Tell the hard truth.  If you like eating Iguana for breakfast while wearing a leather jockstrap, say so.  After all, isn’t the point of this that you wish to meet someone who has no problem with that?  If you’re extremely religious, don’t hide it.  Atheist?  The same.  Alternate lifestyle, sure.  Nudist, fine (ok, I hedged a bit on that one but it worked out).  The point is, be brutally honest about yourself.  You are looking for someone who will want to love YOU, not the person you think you need to pretend to be in order to be loved.

Having done that, you will receive a detailed analysis of not only your personality, but also that of your potential life-mate.  And, no-shit-sherlock, it will freak you out.  It is GOOD.  You just got yourself a free psychoanalysis which would have cost a bundle in an office.  Plus, the one for your ‘hope-to-be’ will be right on the ball.  It’s kinda scary.

Then, should you wish to continue, it’ll cost you $50 to actually get the ball rolling.  You’ll receive first names and mini-profiles  of potentials  in the geographic area you have defined, and have the opportunity to begin contact.  Your profile will be sent to others that E-Harmony has identified as potential matches.

First contact (all through E-Harmony, no personal info is conveyed) consists of a few ‘get to know you’ questions and answers.  Either party may end this at any time.

As things progress, more Q&A with more multiple choices.  Eventually you reach the point where you can actually text to each other, within bounds (Angie and I cheated and snuck in our own e-mails at some point and left E-Harmony).  This process can continue as long as you wish, entirely anonymously.  Absolutely safe.  And you can correspond with multiple people if you want to.

With Angie and I, we had been very honest with each other from the start.  No need to fake it, there is no emotional investment yet so no need to impress.  By the time we actually talked, we knew more about each other than most of our family members, and we still wanted to meet.  Do you understand this?  We didn’t meet, have expectations, then have to adjust to the reality of who were were actually dating.  We knew each other and liked what we saw.  We started our relationship with an understanding of each other it takes years for most couples to reach.

And can I tell you, we are just rapturously, totally, completely in love.  The kind of falling in love that a teenager feels, but with maturity and knowledge.  It’s soooo good!

So, yeah.  I guess I’d recommend E-Harmony to someone interested in finding ‘true love’.  It’s not a dating service, it’s a mating service.  For life.

Not interested in meeting someone?  If you have the nerve, and can be honest, do just the first, free, part and get a really good personality profile of yourself.  I don’t know how they do it, but they do it good!            S

Coming up: Our First Date  (as if anyone cares!)