All of All Nudist’s Postings

Here’s a listing of everything we’ve posted here on All Nudist (on WordPress), the publishing platform we’ve been using for years.  We have moved to our new ALL-NUDIST.com  website where we hope to provide a better and more easily navigable format for our visitors.  Come on over and see what’s new!

Along with our category listings this ‘title only’ list should make it easier for you to browse for old articles should you find yourself with time on your hands!  Both are on the left sidebar.

And besides, we just hate throwing anything out!  Have fun!    – Angie & Steve

LIST OF ALL POSTS

What’s More Fun – Swimming or Painting Naked Girls?

The American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) is promoting this year’s headline publicity event for Nude Recreation Week as one big naked body painting party.  The idea, still in the planning stages, essentially will have clubs and venues holding their own parties on  July 14 then submitting photos (that mainstay of social nudism; pics of naked people!) to AANR  for judging.  One can assume that AANR will then release the winning photos to the news media to demonstrate the ‘wholesome family friendly’ nudist lifestyle.  At this time, The Naturist Society (TNS) has announced no plans to participate.

Of course, the media will only be able to use edited or airbrushed pics.  Kind of like the sexy photos the public is so used to seeing associated with nudity of any kind.

We’re not so sure that promoting the naturist lifestyle as wholesome is best accomplished by presenting it to the general public as a naked body painting party, but we’re kind of old fashioned that way.  And just a bit cynical.  AANR must feel that  this will appeal to the more adventurous textiles who can certainly see the fun in painting naked girls!

Now, that doesn’t mean we see anything wrong with body painting.  We are only concerned with the image that the public will take away from this.  When you hear ‘naked body painting’, what do you think of first, family activities or something somewhat more sexy?  Can you picture a naked middle-aged man painting a child’s naked body as anything other than a questionable activity?  Maybe we can but will a textile public that sees everything done in the nude as sex also see it as innocent and ‘family oriented’?

It had seemed to us that the previous Nude Recreation Week Guinness Book skinnydip events could be a great way to coordinate publicity and participation worldwide as  a means of bringing social nudism before the public eye in a positive way.  How better to show how easy it is to get naked around other folks, if only for a few minutes in a fun environment?  Not as much fun as finger-painting a nude woman (and you know that’s the image that comes to mind!) though.  It’s easy to see how this event could attract a lot of attention; let’s hope that it’s the right kind of attention!

One non-nudist wrote about her experience at a skinnydip and while it doesn’t sound like we got a convert, she makes a good point that may appeal to others: “…the purpose…first and foremost is to force myself out of my comfort zone, to have little adventures, to experience all that life has to offer.  Well, I’ve lived to tell the tale that visiting a nudist resort is one way to achieve that!”  The comments following her article further present social nudism as a positive, healthy experience; definitely not sexy at all.  Isn’t that exactly what’s needed to combat the negative images so often presented elsewhere?

However, it’s not for us to decide how AANR  promotes its main product ( membership).  Nudists/naturists benefit from healthy AANR membership numbers and those have been falling, so perhaps drastic measures to drum up publicity, any publicity, that will get AANR’s name out there are justified in the long run if will help boost membership dues.  If this doesn’t do the trick, maybe next year it could be tattoos, followed by piercings!  As long as we’re promoting the activities of a small minority of nudists as fundamental parts of naturism, why not?  As long as it gets attention, right?

Still, somehow the idea of portraying nudists as body painting enthusiasts (something that few nudists OR textiles are) does not fit well with the idea that nudists are just ordinary folks who happen to like being nude.  It makes us appear much more exciting and adventurous (and touchy?) than most of the nudists we’ve known, anyway.   That may help to diminish the public perception that we’re all old fuddie-duddies, but let’s hope that it doesn’t make us appear too wild in the process!

JOIN AANR today! Click HERE!

But you know what?  We have AANR to thank for a lot of the things we take for granted as we go about our naked day.  We can accomplish more by joining and helping direct the organization than we can by complaining.  So start practicing your body painting technique and who knows, maybe next July you’ll find yourself pictured on a national cover in all your naked glory…censored, of course!

Skinny Dipping into the Guinness Book of World Records

Even the Brits get into it:  Britain’s National Trust Sets World Record

2010 AANR Skinny Dip Results

History of The Naturist Society  (including the origins of Nude Rec. Week)

AANR’s Amazing Canvas Nudist Face and Body Painting Event   2012

AANR’s Amazing Canvas Nudist Face & Body Painting Event

UPDATE:  Be sure to read the comments below for some other opinions!  ‘Chet’, incidently, is also ‘Nudiarist’ among other aliases.  That will make it easier to follow.  He also wrote the following essay on his website; apparently he did’t have enough space for his silly insults here.  Go ahead and try to follow it all if you care, it’s really no big deal.  ‘Chet’ is still mad that we criticized his nudie galleries a few years ago as being unbecoming to a ‘nudist’ website.  No sense of humor and doesn’t read very well either.  Skips words and makes assumptions, usually wrongly, then rants about the imagined assumption.  Such a waste of an otherwise smart guy!

All Nudist, All Wrong – by ‘The Political Naturist’

Other sites produced by ‘The Political Naturist’ (he really, really likes to look at naked people, it appears):  

Valley View Redeaux

Well, we made it to the Nude Car Show!  Missed it for a couple of years but it was just as good and fun as we remembered.  We saw some folks we knew from before and got along swimmingly, met some new ones and enjoyed hearing their stories.  And no, that’s not us in the pic.  That’s Doug and Amanda of The Academic Naturist who won the motorcycle category one year.

There were some nice cars, though not as many as usual due to threatening weather.  Nonetheless, a good time was had by all.  One car and driver in particular stood out – a ’36 (?) Packard (?) sedan with a lovely driver tricked out in roaring twenties-style flapper beads and hat, and little more.  Cute as a button and full of bounce!  Um, the driver, not the car.  It just kinda sat there looking like the aristocrat it is.

Now, we hadn’t been camping for years, not since we sold our camper while I (Steve) was busy dying.  Guess we should have kept it considering that, as it turned out, I didn’t!  We had stayed at Valley View in a cabin before, and tented once or twice when we were first new, but not since.  The weather promised to be iffy with rain expected but we hoped for the best.  Mostly it was sunny and warm with some showers and rain one night, which our tent survived just.  fine.

This was Angie’s first rain-camping experience and it was everything she had feared, which really wasn’t much.  Luckily she had no idea what a real rain camping experience is like!  Actually, it was a piece of cake, other than not being able to run around in the sun naked now and then.  The good thing about nude camping is that there are no wet, cold clothes to deal with!  And it’s fun to run around in the rain nude!

During the day we spent plenty of time in the pool or watching the more activity-inclined people enjoying games of sand volleyball or testicle-toss, wandering around the grounds or eating, looking at cars and generally schmoozing with anyone who would talk to us.  That’s pretty easy to do; folks are friendly and laid-back and come in a variety of ages and interests.  Boredom wasn’t a problem!

There were bands and dances both nights and booths selling neat stuff during the day, with breakfast, lunch and dinner available for those who wanted them.  The food was great and reasonably priced and I had only one complaint: the hamburgers were so good that I wanted to eat more than I could fit in!  And, fresh corn on the cob, yum.

Campfire chat finished off the evenings and more than took care of the slight chill in the air.  There’s nothing quite like a nice big fire with a bunch of friendly naked people sitting around.  If only every night could end that way!

The next event coming up is the Nude Olympics in a couple of weeks, Sep. 4th.  We don’t want to miss that and will be back there again before if we can make it.  Angie’s even thinking about trying camping again… if there’s no rain forecast!

So no surprise, we had a swell time and surely will be back next year, and many more times in between.  If only Winter didn’t have to come first!  Be sure to visit Valley View if you possibly can, you won’t be disappointed.

Valley View Recreation Club

Haulover Beach on a Budget

  Or,  How We Took a Tropical Vacation for Not a Lot of Bucks

 Warning: If you have no interest in Haulover Beach, The Ocean Palm Motel, or our vacation, turn back now!   This is a long one!  But of course, it’s very interesting!

  Not much time and not much money,  but after three attempts over five years we finally made it to Haulover Beach!   Job issues, then sudden illness aborted the first tries but we persevered and made it happen this March. Leaving the Land of Ice and Snow behind, on silver wings we flew south to the sunny shores of Miami, and what a shore it was!

 Our flight to Fort Lauderdale was uneventful other than the fact that we had planned to fly to Miami originally but changed destinations at the last minute.  Add to that the fact that someone (Steve, maybe?) persisted in thinking thatmiami-beach1 we were in Tampa, of all places, causing no end of confusion in our conversations with locals during our visit!  So the trip down went fine, notwithstanding sharing our row of seats with a Zombie!

 Zombie might actually be a bit tame; he was lying back in the seat with his eyes rolled back in his head and foam coming out of his mouth.  He sure looked dead but did come back to life long enough to let us in to our seats then immediately reverted back to a dead-looking guy.  So scary that the flight attendant kept waking him and asking him if he was alright! At one point Steve asked if the guy was dead, could we have his seat?   The zombie never even heard all of us talking about him.  Creepy.

 ft niteWhen we arrived in Tampa, that is, Lauderdale, it was past 7:30 pm on Sunday night and the airport was all but closed.  Now, having cleverly planned our arrival in Tampa, ahem, Miami, in detail but failing to do so for Lauderdale, we hadn’t a clue as to what to do about ground transportation to our motel.  There was no one at the airport to ask, everything was closed.  We tried asking the La Quinta shuttle driver for suggestions but she rudely blew us off, saying she only dealt with her own passengers!  Wouldn’t even tell us where a taxi stand was.  Welcome to Florida! (note to selves: Never stay at a La Quinta; jerks!)

 We followed ‘ground transportation’ signs hither and yon and eventually found ourselves outside, still without a clue as to how to get to Miami.  A long line of folks waiting by a parking shuttle sign was mixed with people thinking it was a taxi line, which it wasn’t.  At least we weren’t the only lost souls there that night!

 We finally flagged a passing cab (222-2222) and managed the language barrier enough to tell him where we were going, and were off!  Sorta.  After about 20 minutes he started asking us just exactly where we wanted to go.  Well, other than the address and knowing that there was a little store a block from the motel (The Ocean Fooop1d Market, thank you Google Earth!), we weren’t very helpful.  Creeping down the boulevard looking for street numbers with an increasingly vexed driver, we finally found The Ocean Palm Resort  Motel; home at last!  Strangely, the estimated $45 trip cost $60 when we got there.  Hmm, only $60 to get screwed in Miami!  Oddly enough, the return trip by a different company (444-4444) was only $45!

   Check-in went smoothly, Elizabeth seems to be there all the time except late at night and she’s a doll!  A little formidable at first perhaps, but she warms up quickly if you’re not a total jerk.  She’ll be glad to help you with whatever you need, just ask!  Robert, who works when Elizabeth doesn’t, is charming, friendly and very helpful.  He set us up on their computer to do early airline check-in and ordered a cab to pick us up the day of departure.  They stress that they don’t want you to worry about anything because you’re there to enjoy yourself.  I wish everyone was that wonderful! (La Quinta, take notes)

ocean-palm-hotel-n-miami This motel is reportedly the first two-story motel in the States and the last motel remaining in Miami.  Low and stucco, snuggled in among new high-rise condos it is a rare surviving vestige of the glory days of the past when motels lined the shoreline, beckoning to frozen Northerners needing to thaw in sunnier climes.  Quaint and charming are the terms that come to mind, but not in the way that modern establishments refer to themselves.  This place has earned that description, and has the scars and bruises to prove it!

 Word has it that Trump has tried to buy it to build another tower but the owner is happy to keep it as it is. Word also has it that he doesn’t care much for Mr. Trump and enjoys telling him to go jump in a lake!  Just rumors, mind you…

 If you’re a white-glove tourist, you’d better stay at Trump Tower down the row. Our not-quite grand old Lady shows her layers of paint, the patches in her walls, and the pink tile in her bath that isn’t there for a retro look; it was born there!  Clean enough so as not to worry, it’s also sort of a Southern relaxed style of clean.  Don’t worry about it, you’re on Miami Beach!  More faded strumpet than gracious lady, she has some holes in her stockings but she keeps them well mended!

   Our room, the cheapest at $80 per night, was big enough for two double beds, table and chairs, frig and sink, TV and
jesus-christus.  Who needs more?  If you do, they have bigger and nicer rooms too.  Ours was just fine for what we wanted; a place to sleep. We came there for the nude beach, not for a hot tub in our room!

  You will likely find that the freezer in your little frig (complete with ice trays) doesn’t freeze; but no matter.  When you ask where the ice machine is they’ll gladly trade your empty ice trays for freshly frozen ones!

 A free ‘continental breakfast’ is available in the morning; good coffee, packaged sweet rolls, toast, bagels, and peanut butter!  They keep a handy supply of used books to borrow for the reading-inclined and will call a cab for you if you wish to explore the many options the Miami area has to offer.

 Did you know that not only can you take an air-boat ride in the Everglades to see the alligators and afterwards, you can eat them?!  Or swim in a crystal clear coral quarry?  Or swim with dolphins, deep- sea fish, scuba; all sorts of things.  Pretty hot nightlife too.  But for us, it was the nude beach this trip!jesus-christ

 Ocean Palm has a nice heated pool (24 hours) on a deck overlooking the beaches of the blue Atlantic Ocean.  Step off the deck onto the sands and stroll down to the water or hike a couple hundred yards to Haulover Beach, right down the way.  This is the most convenient lodging available for the Beach.

 We spent our oh-so-few days lounging on the pool deck or wandering the beach.  High-rises flank the sea to the North with Trump Tower III right next door.  To the South are an unfinished parking garage and another leftover from earlier days, a ‘modern’ (for its day) apartment building from that bygone era of glitter and glamor.  Then just sand for the short walk to the fence bordering the legally nude portion of beach called Haulover.

 You were wondering when we’d get to that part, weren’t you? Enough about the motel, what nthabout the nude beach! Ok, but we have to warn you; like most things nudist/naturist it’s a lot less interesting than outsiders might think.

  Walking down there the first time we were struck by how mainly empty the beach was North of there.  A few scattered people but not too many, but South down at Haulover there were hundreds!  It’s a long stretch of beach served by lifeguard stations and full of folks of allnorth2 kinds.  There were scads of guys that appeared to probably be gay, together and singly, plus couples and singles of both sexes though far fewer women than men (as usual!).  Several different groups of obvious friends, super-dark tanned folks and fish-belly whites (us included).  The races were all represented with a heavy Hispanic leaning, probably due to Miami’s Cuban population.  Plenty of Cubans around there, a handsome people and exotic to a couple from Wisconsin!

 The most striking thing was how ordinary it seemed, just like any other beach but for the large number of naked people!  There were plenty of swimsuit-clad folks, attired in garb from conservative tank suits to thongs and Speedos.  Lots of Speedos!  It also seems that men’s jockeys are also acceptable beachwear at both the nude and non-nude beaches around there.  We were told that women can go topless in Miami and saw a few near our motel, but not many.  Plenty at the beach, though most folks there were nude.

 The water was a bit chilly for comfort, even though temps were around 80, but we got in enough to get wet.  Guess it shouldn’t have been a surprise to find that it was still salty, as it had been years ago during a childhood visit to Miami.  Still, it seems that they could have done something about that by now; nasty stuff!  The surf was low but still powerful, as evidenced by the rescue we watched when a man got just a little too far out and was caught by the riptide.  Took two lifeguards quite a while to get him back in. Be careful out there, it’s a lot more dangerous than it appears!

  beach standsYou can rent umbrellas or grab a bite to eat from a trailer right on the beach.   Restrooms are handy but you must cover up to reach them.  There’s also a parking lot right by the beach if you drive, but don’t get undressed until you reach the beach proper.

 We chatted with a few people but mainly just laid around trying to get tanned without burning; not easy in only three days!   Be sure to use sunscreen, that equatorial sun is a killer and missed spots burn fast!  Luckily, aloe plants abound at the Ocean Palm and we were encouraged to snip a bit for their soothing, healing properties.  We do not suggest wrapping a piecs of aloe in a napkin to take home unless you’re fond of slimy, smelly messes!

 Evenings were for star-gazing from the beach, though we stayed close to the motel.  We had heard that ‘vampires’ haunt the beach after dark and we did see some creepy guys wandering around in the dark.  That’s ok; there’s a prettyeve Miami skyline seen from the motel beach and really no need to wander far.  Swimming at night would be foolish; both because of the tides and, well, there are things in oceans that can sting or eat you…   Like someone once said (Hunter S. Thompson?), the food chain begins at the ocean’s edge; and you are not necessarily at the top of it!

 Lunch was pretty easy for us.  Not being too picky, we were happy to pick up a sub at The Ocean Food Market down the street (good subs, about $5) or eat at the Cuban Cafe next to it.  Scary looking from the front, clean and neat inside with some pretty good food! Dinner was more of a problem.  Without a car and unwilling to cab it all over Miami, that left a Mexican restaurant a few blocks away (no, not going to Miami to eat Mexican food), a Chinese restaurant (no, not going to Miami to eat Chinese food), pizza delivery (no, not going to Miami to eat delivered pizza), or Trump II two buildings down.

 Trump was a bit pricey but not terribly so, but their menu didn’t appeal to us so we wound up just picking up extra food during the day for supper.  No big deal.  Some folks with kitchenettes shopped and cooked just like at home. If you have wheels though, Miami offers some spectacular dining. Maybe next time!

 After dinner we lounged around the pool, soaking in the warm water and chatting with the other visitors.  An interesting crowd (though not crowded) from all around the US and the world.  There were folks from Germany, Indiana, Oregon, Ohio, Wyoming, somewhere Russian-ish, Canada, and some others.  Occupations ranged from
miami beach palmsstudents to a noted scientist, law enforcement to retiree, researcher to cab driver.  A lovely woman spent hours by the pool knitting beautiful handiwork.  Angie, a life-long knitter, learned from her how to knit the European way and found this lady has researched and taught herself how to make ‘hairpin lace’.  She has a book in the works with new patterns for those who venture to learn this ancient method of making lace.  All of this at the pool!  We were there early in the week and met mostly more mature folks but a younger crowd was appearing later on.  For those who might be interested, it was a pretty even mix of straight and gay, with no problems.

 We did discover that, as always seems to be the case, a plate of good Wisconsin cheese is welcomed by those unfortunate enough not to live here!

 There are signs around the pool specifically stating that nudity is prohibited; that’s the law and far be it for us to say that anybody might have not noticed those signs later in the night when no one cared. Nope, we won’t say that.  The management is clear about that policy which is required by the city, and will enforce it should someone complain, as is right and proper.

 Though the evenings were not really cold, there’s a regular ocean breeze which, while being pleasantly refreshing
jesus-christ during the day, tends to be a bit chilly at night.  A sweater or windbreaker is handy in this otherwise warm place where you could spend your entire time clad in nothing more than a sarong.

 During the night we tended to leave the room door open to catch the sea breezes, something that must not be too common to the locals who think that this is Winter.  One midnight we were surprised by the appearance of three police officers at our door.  We asked if everything was ok; some strange guy had been picketing on the sidewalk all day because the motel was full and he couldn’t get a room (?) and we thought it might have something to do with him.   No, they had seen the door open and were just checking to see if everything was all right! Talk about ‘To Protect and to Serve’!

sunrise  If you’re an early riser, sunrises can be spectacular over the Atlantic.  You can sit on the deck after a refreshing dip in the pool, sip your coffee and watch the birth of a new day!  Adding to the enjoyment are the tractors that groom the beaches and the guy that collects any shoes or towels that folks have left behind!

 Alas, all too soon it was time to return to the Frozen North.  Time enough for coffee and honey buns at the pool, then off to the airport.  Luckily we had a driver this time that actually knew where he was going!  We noted that the crowd at the airport was generally much more attractive and happier than the one in Chicago.  Seems that folks hanging around a tropical paradise tend to reflect their surroundings!

 As happens, our plane was 10 minutes late arriving and 10 minutes late departing; just enough time for the airport toecc_img_aircraft_ERJ_145_zoom02 close due to a tropical squall.  Great.  Sitting in an airliner in the middle of a hurricane!  Ok, so it was just a little wind and rain, but it made us just late enough in Chicago that we missed our connection to Madison.  Damn.  Had a chance for standby on a later plane, otherwise not until the next day.  Boogers, hell of a way to end a vacation!  But we got the flight and arrived home safely after a 20 minute ride in a plane so small that the wings flapped.  IMG_4206We all took turns tightening the rubber band that powered it.

Kind of a shock walking out into Winter again but it was good to be home.  Back to runny noses, cat hair all over the house, and a dog that needs to go out every ten minutes!

Oh yeah, one last thing… We had a GREAT time!

 Related:

Haulover Beach – The (mostly) Complete Guide     by All Nudist

The Ocean Palm Resort Motel

The Ocean Palm resort Motel – 1940 to present video 

Haulover Beach

Haulover Beach Pics

Do You Know What Time it Is?

   It’s about time to think about taking a couple night getaway at someplace special, someplace warm, someplace fun this year!  Go ahead, plan a treat for yourself, you deserve it!

  IF we could do it, here’s where we would go:  Terra Cotta Inn in sunny Palm Springs!  We’ve heard nothing but raves about this place and the folks who run it. 

  Maybe this year, just maybe…

Nude Car Show

   NUDE CAR SHOW  coming up AUG. 13, 14, 15 at Valley View Rec. Club near Cambridge,  WI.   If you’ve never been to it, do it!   A fun casual show with lots of other activities, a great bunch of folks. Nice pool, too!

   We’ve been there several times and always had a fun time, hope to make it this year.  Camp over or visit for the day!

     Valley View Rec. Club

Naked Freaks! WNBR Madison

  Freaks, stark naked, just another bunch of Madison freaks, what’s their point?, illegal…   These terms and more were heard when the World Naked Bike Ride came to Madison this weekend.  Nowhere to be found were exclamations of discovery, that folks had a sudden enlightenment that bicycle safety, oil independence, and body freedom are important issues deserving of attention.  Like they were supposed to.  After all, that’s what riding a bike naked is supposed to mean!   Right?  Isn’t that the first thing that comes to your mind?

  One thing did come to people’s minds: cameras.  Gotta have a pic of those freaks in the street to show Aunt Mabel in Iowa.

We got off to a late start, caught up with the ride when it reached the Square.  The Farmer’s Market was going on so that meant tens ofPicture of Dane County Farmers Market thousands of people to parade in front of.  What we saw was a large group of mostly young bike riders, much like the other bike groups around here.  One woman had her top off, everyone else we saw was dressed.   Apparently the police had informed them earlier that they would be cited if anyone complained, then (the police) solicited citizens to make complaints.  So they put their clothes on.

If demonstrators in 1969 had quietly packed up and gone home upon meeting resistance, we’d still be in Vietnam.

Local press had done mildly sympathetic reports prior to  the event, and followup stories were equally bland, playing down the arrests.  About ten people were arrested and released for disturbing the peace, both paraders and onlookers.  Typical for any event, no big deal.  Just another day in Madison.

Also that day were other events in town such as a Jazz festival in a park, a Blues festival, Juneteenth celebrations, Fruit Fest (as in l,b,g.t, etc.), and a family festival in Middleton, busy weekend.  All reached more people and spread their messages better than a few dozen kids on bikes, we’re sorry to say.  Maybe the Ride folks feel it was a success, especially for a first time, but it’s hard to see what effect the Ride had on perceptions about bikes, oil, or body acceptance.  Mostly it appeared to be a bunch of ‘bike freaks’ looking for an excuse to block traffic and get naked in public but chickening out when the rubber hit the road.

   This sounds like a negative review but it’s not meant to be.  It’s just easier now to see why the local nudist groups wanted nothing to do with the ride.  It’s not about body freedom and just makes folks look like fools.  Don’t need that.

  So we wish the WNBR all the luck in the world.  We just feel they should be honest and bill the event as what it appears to be:  an excuse to get naked and shock people by getting in their faces without (hopefully) getting arrested, as they surely would behaving that way singly.

World Naked Bike Ride – Madison

Ride Video

WNBR-Madison Yahoo group  lots of discussion about the ride

World Naked Bike Ride

Naked Bikers Followup

Posted on July 11, 2010 by All Nudist | Edit

  Here’s a couple of recent articles about the Madison ride.  Silly response from the police force of the “Berkeley of the Midwest”.

  Madison cop allegedly refused woman’s request for shirt to cover herself at World Naked Bike Ride

World Naked Bike Ride participants say Madison cops were out of line

Beautiful Nudist Poem

Read it here:     The simple joy, of being nude

Winter Shut-ins?

 Been a long winter?  Are you longing for the sight of a little sun and warmth?  Miss running around nekked?

  Well this may help a little.  Just click here:  Nude people running around having fun!     Aahhh…

  Video courtesy Clothes Free International

Sin-stralia?

  You’d think that the Land Down Under might have bigger things on it’s mind, what with sharks, crocs, man-eating wombats and all, but no.  Instead, we folks on this side of the Kangaroo Curtain have been entertained for God knows how long by that government’s ceaseless assault on bare skin.

From the art world to film and personal lifestyles those government folks just can’t seem to get their minds out of the gutter.  Sex and sin is everywhere!  From all appearances, that country must contain most of the world’s population of perverts, rapists, pedophiles and sex addicts.

They don’t like nudists either, of course, so we’ve got a solution to the nudist part of the problem that has been hugely overlooked by the Powers That Be:  Create more, many more nude beaches!  Instead of closing, make some good use of them.  Encourage a big tourist trade, bring nu dists in from around the world!  The more the better!  The same goes for inland nudist venues, c’mon in, the water’s fine!

Now, the skeptic might ask how this will solve the government’s nudist problem.  It’s simple, really. Everyone knows that if you swim in the ocean around Australia you’ll be eaten by sharks, right?  And inland waters are teeming with crocs. Viola’, no more nudists!  And… the government’s control of internet and news media assures that the world will never hear about the attacks!  Perfect!

On a more serious side (yeah, right!), as Winter haltingly slops into Spring here in Wisconsin, you must be heading for Fall over there (smart, huh?).  I’m proud to say that I posses the knowledge of geography that most Americans can claim (ie. zip) and I seem to recall that Australia is fairly large, bigger than Chicago even, and must have several types of  Winter weather.  So what do you do all winter?

How about some of you wallaby wranglers drop in a comment here and share with us what you can expect weather-wise over the next few months in your area?  And how does that affect nudism there?  So get off your duff, or maybe get on it, and drop us all a note.  Just think, a few words on a keypad and you’ll be world-famous!

Related:  Why Are Australians Prudes?